exomeme | part seventy two

still can't get over amber's genuine confusion over why everyone's judging her so much and wook's fuckin face

lol

The plan, when it comes down to it, is simple.

"I saw Sehun last night," Yixing tells Lu Han when he wakes up. The sun has yet to rise, but the steadiness of days is already starting to melt away.

Lu Han hums wordlessly to this, tracing a finger along the dull side of the blade. He looks like he's thinking, so Yixing only crouches down next to him, wrapping his arms around his legs. He tucks his chin between his knees.

Lu Han hands him a bottle of water. "He won't be far," he says, as he presses his palms against his thighs and stands.

The twine, when it comes down to it, is almost invisible. It's why Yixing hadn't noticed it at first. But at the same time, it's strong enough not to break easily. It's strong enough to tangle someone up for long enough to stick a knife through their back.

Yixing is bait, because he looks harmless. "You look easy to kill," Lu Han says. The risk, Lu Han says, is that they catch a shark instead of a fish, but it's one they'll take.

"To be honest," Lu Han says, as they head out the door, "I'd rather die doing something than waiting for someone to kill me."

Yixing hesitates. "I don't want to die," he finally says.

Lu Han shrugs. "May the odds ever be in your favour."

-

But these are the Hunger Games, and it takes only a split second for the hunters to become the hunted, for the predators to become the prey.

Because while Yixing may have seen Sehun, he never saw Zitao coming.

-

He hears Lu Han's scream first.

"Look out!"

Yixing is chasing after Sehun when he looks back - it's Zitao, and he snarls, and behind him is Lu Han - and he twists a little too much and stumbles, comes crashing to his knees, and thinks, a little too consciously, that this is it.

Instead, the knife flies over his head and clatters harmlessly against the tiles. Some ten paces ahead, Sehun turns around, and gone is the impassive child from the night before. Yixing scrambles to his feet, flicking the whip in his right hand desperately even as he hears Lu Han crash into Zitao behind him.

Yixing was supposed to be the bait, but, he realises with a sinking heart, that he'd been the one baited instead. Kicking free of the twine, he yanks the whip back when he notices that it'd missed. He stumbles backwards, taking stock of the situation: Lu Han and Zitao are a tangle of limbs as they fight for arms around necks and fists in stomachs, while Sehun watches him warily.

The knife glints by Sehun's foot, and he's not sure if Sehun has noticed. Swallowing the fear that threatens to creep up his throat, he takes a careful step towards Sehun. Sehun, matching his movements, takes a slow step back.

The kid's scared too. With all the memories of childhood winters, Yixing skims the whip through the air, curling the end around the handle of the knife even as Sehun jumps back at the crack.

The knife skitters to a stop next to Yixing. With more calmness than he feels, he picks it up. Zitao and Lu Han have separated, and he knows that Lu Han still has a knife sheathed in his belt. Yixing is armed, and Sehun isn’t. Lu Han is breathing heavily – but so is he. The silence is unnerving, and as if on cue, Lu Han lets out a harsh scream as he throws himself at Sehun, the knife flashing in the morning sun as he pulls it out from his sheath. Zitao reacts half a second later and launches himself after Lu Han, and Yixing takes another second after that before he cuts in front of the taller boy.

He braces himself for the impact, but even so, the wind is knocked out of him as a tower of pure muscle crashes into him, and he’s tossed aside like so much trash. A quiet cry is wrenched out of him as the knife is kicked out of his hand, and then Zitao is on top of him, hands around Yixing’s throat. Yixing thrashes out, pummelling the other tribute in any way he can. Zitao grunts when one of Yixing’s blows connects solidly to his chin, but doesn’t let go. Zitao's fingers are a vice around his throat, and a small voice reminds him that he is still holding a whip, and that he doesn’t want to die. With a grunt, he manages to get the whip around Zitao’s neck. The other tribute’s eyes open wide in surprise when Yixing pulls, the cord tightening, cutting off Zitao’s blood supply and breathing just like Zitao is doing to Yixing. Zitao snarls and lets go to yank the whip free – Yixing uses the precious seconds to kick out at Zitao’s stomach, as air rushes back to his lungs, his throat burning. He drags himself away, knowing that Zitao is just behind him, trying to put as much distance between them as he can.

But.

There are moments in every person’s life when a single touch, a single look, a single sound can cause a shift that slides the world from under their feet. When the skies and the ground reverse their positions, when heaven and hell become one. There are moments that some people never experience, and moments that others experience over and over until the shattered world becomes a world within itself. There are moments, and this is one of them:

Lu Han’s choked cry as he clutches at the knife that protrudes from his chest with one hand, and Sehun slowly backing away from the growing pool of blood around Lu Han's feet. There is a look of horror on Sehun’s face, and Yixing wants to scream. Why you!? but then – then he realises that Lu Han is pulling the knife out of his own body, and Sehun, Sehun doesn’t move when Lu Han growls, and with what looks like his last bit of strength, slashes forward as he falls.

Stick them with the pointy end, Yixing remembers, and he lets out a bitter laugh when Sehun falls backwards, blood gushing out from his neck like he’s a cow at slaughter, and Lu Han falls on top of him. Beside him, he hears Zitao’s strangled “no!” even as he’s frozen to the spot.

He has never seen anyone die in front of him before. Now, he is watching two people die. There is a lot of blood. He has seen cows at slaughter and he has seen horses too old or lame to work put down so they could be eaten. He knows his mother died when he was three, but he does not remember this. He has seen people die in the Hunger Games, and he has seen people he loved die in the Hunger Games, but it is not like this. They tell you about the pain, they tell you about the numbness. They don’t tell you about the stench of blood, how it clings to your skin and your clothes and the inside of your mouth, and they don’t tell you about how fear and pain becomes so palpable in the air that you can taste it. They tell you about the sadness, but they don’t tell you about the helplessness. They tell you about regret, but they never tell you about the regret that comes from watching a person die before you have a chance to know them, and they don’t tell you about the regret that comes because you could have killed the person who killed them but you didn’t because you are weak and now this person is dead.

Except he’s not dead yet.

Lu Han rolls over, hand pressed uselessly to his wound, but there is a lot of blood, and it is not stopping. Lu Han isn’t dead yet, and Zitao sees this too, and again (again) Yixing sees Zitao see this, a second too late.

“Please,” he hears himself saying, only he’s crying and his limbs are heavy and weak and he doesn’t know where he finds the strength to get to his feet to push Zitao away, because Zitao takes the knife and stabs it into Lu Han’s stomach again, and again, and again before Yixing gets there, and with each thrust, Lu Han lets out a pained whimper, as if he can’t summon up the strength for anything more.

Lu Han’s eyes are squeezed shut, and there is blood everywhere. Yixing presses his hands to the fresh wounds, but it only pools more blood around his fingers, until they too are stained the same crimson that colours Lu Han’s. There are tears in his eyes, but none in Lu Han’s, and the heavy stone of guilt begins to settle in his stomach.

“I’m sorry,” Yixing says. “I’m sorry.”

It seems inadequate. It is inadequate.

Lu Han has been kind to him. Now, Lu Han is dying because of him.

Lu Han’s eyes open, and they struggle to focus on Yixing’s face. “Why?” he says. “Someone...has to die.” He coughs, and blood colours the corner of his mouth. Yixing reaches up to wipe it away, but his hands are covered in blood too, and all he succeeds in doing is painting a crimson streak against Lu Han’s face. His skin has always been pale and fair, and in this moment, it is only more so.

Yixing shakes his head. “I...Sehun. I knew he was...found me...us.” The words come out between choked sobs, and he wishes he could stop crying. He wishes that there were no tears burning against his eyes, that his vision was not blurred not because he is hurt, but because he is crying and he couldn’t help. He wishes that he could explain why he was sorry, why this is his fault, why this is all his fault. “I’m sorry,” he says again.

There’s a hand on his, and Yixing looks down to see Lu Han clasp his fingers over his chest. There is a horrible, gaping wound right under their hands, and Yixing shakes his head desperately. “Maybe, medicine, from the Capitol—”

“Yixing.” Lu Han’s fingers tighten around his, and Yixing quiets. He looks away from the (horrible, fatal) wound, and into Lu Han’s eyes. They’re a soft brown, and very pretty, and unfocussed. Yixing swallows, ignoring the burn at the motion.

“You...told me...” Lu Han has to pause, catch his breath, and the rise and fall of his chest is becoming slower, less prominent. Yixing leans in to catch his words. Lu Han smiles, and Yixing thinks that this is all so unfair.

“If I died, I was going to tell you, you could eat me,” he blurts out, and to his surprise, Lu Han laughs, a small hitch of his chest and shoulders before he grimaces in pain.

“You don’t look like you taste very good,” Lu Han says. He grins. “Not enough meat.”

Yixing laughs too, an ugly burst through his tears, and everything feels too numb for this to be real. Lu Han’s hand is warm in his, and he doesn’t want it to end. “I wanted to be friends,” he says. “I didn’t want to kill you.”

Lu Han’s eyes fall shut slowly, and in the missed beat, Yixing hears the quiet murmurs of Zitao dissolve to silence. Lu Han stills, and Yixing clutches at his hands, willing him to open his eyes again. Lu Han blinks, slowly, and if he could make this moment last longer, he would. His lips move, but no sound comes out.

Yixing leans down, until his ear is next to Lu Han’s lips. “What?” He wishes he could phrase it any other way, this is too blunt.

Lu Han’s last word is a quiet whisper, and then his hands fall slack in Yixing’s. Yixing bites his lips, and presses his face against Lu Han’s bloodstained chest.

“Thank you,” he says. Maybe, just maybe, Lu Han can hear him.

Lu Han's chest rises and falls one final time time, and the boy from district eight who people had expected to be a monster and had been paraded as a deer becomes one of the first casualties of the 89th Hunger Games. There will be many more, because in the end, there will be only one, but for now, he is one of the first. There are words left unsaid and secrets left untold, and in that way, it is like every other death. The tribute from district eight had not been one of those who had been picked to be one of the first to die, and in this way, it is a small surprise. The tribute from district eight who had no parents and no one to mourn his death passes away in this way, his hands clutched tightly between someone who would have been his friend if they had not met in a game of death, but for fate to be seen as kind, it must display its cruelty in equal measures.

There are things he takes to the grave. Things like the quiet kisses he’d shared with Sehun. Things like twined fingers and soft smiles. Things like seeing Sehun kiss Zitao, and the way his fist had tightened as he’d walked away. Nor will he ever be able to tell Yixing that Lu Han had known Sehun had come looking for them, that Lu Han had seen them talk, and even if he hadn’t heard a single word, there was no way he could mistake the way Sehun had pushed Yixing against the wall and kissed him, or what it meant when Sehun had dropped to his knees, even if, once again, Lu Han had taken a step back, and then another, and walked away. He will never tell anyone again about the girl he’d once liked as a child, or tell anyone for the first time about the first time he’d kissed another boy. Nor will anyone know that secretly, in his heart, he would have liked to win too.

(And just like Lu Han will never be able to say that in the end, he hadn't wanted to kill Sehun after all, Sehun will never be able to explain that he'd stabbed Lu Han by accident. And the seed of regret that had settled in Lu Han's throat even before he'd used the knife stained with his own blood to open Sehun's jugular - that is a seed that will never have a chance to grow. Maybe, it's for the best. Because the audience doesn't want a story of children who understand too late the magnitude of their actions. The audience wants their deaths.)

Because the world is as cruel as it is kind, and during the past few weeks, Lu Han has found that sometimes, the world can be kind.

There is the roar of helicopter blades, and Yixing, even though he was never an avid watcher of the Games, understands. He squeezes his eyes shut and squeezes Lu Han’s hands one last time, before he lets go and steps back.

Only then does he look up and see Zitao watching him, and he realises that Zitao could have killed him at any moment. Maybe he deserved it.

He doesn’t watch as the copters descend and remove the bodies. He’s watching Zitao, and Zitao is watching him. There will be no more killing here today, and they both know it.

The first death is the worst, they had said before the games had begun. After a while, they get better. If you live. At the time, Yixing had thought that they were wrong, that it would never get better.

But, as he picks up his discarded whip and walks off to retrieve their fallen supplies, he realises that he may have been wrong.

“Win.” Lu Han’s last word echoes in his mind.

He just doesn’t think that it can get any worse.

omg

oo ty anon!

omg anon ;; i was making one of these too lmao but it pales in comparison... and overlaps... lol /o\

but anyway, goes to listen and cry u__u

sexing sutao header :* :*

it's kcon's fault tbh... they should have just announced all the artists at once. but I'm sure fandoms would find something to fight about either way

fuck da anons. ilu!!!!!

actual tears in my eyes

baek isn't minah?

yeah ia, it doesn't seem fair to fans or in general to announce the artists one by one. i mean, ofc fans are going to buy the tickets if they know their oppars are going, but then those seats will sell out for the fans of the later announcements.

not a smart move either way

i may have gotten a little carried away ): my otp ):

just in case i ever need a mix to cry to when i'm studying in the library hahahaha ~~it's true though ): alternatively: fanxinglu the bad end mix~~

\o/ this is...the sad...side...of cpop though :c (because it is a my boyfriends are dead playlist)

keke ty nonnie \o/

i totally forgot lol. suho and yura tho

http://puu.sh/3OZz5.gif

i won't be submitting any drawings, stick figures or legit ones, for the fear of rejection lol

lmao the 2 middle gifs

nooooooooooooo anon post yours too! i'm just doing everything except for studying lmfao ;;; and even if it overlaps as long as it's not identical i'd love to hear it too. do it for me?

i'm still so sad about broken ot3 ;~;

is doppar still alive?

He just doesn’t think that it can get any worse.

anticipates kris's death next

worst song ever but oppars sing it all the damn time so..

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0KdQoXD5b8d

/hides

no

yes

shuddering rn omg sexing and taohun and layhan and just omg ;____________;

part seventy two

Re: http://onew.tumblr.com/post/56802170648

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Re: hg: lu han dies (team cccm)

Re: hg: lu han dies (team cccm)

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Re: hg: dark after dawn (team yixing ): )

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Re: https://twitter.com/wotadz1/status/361989097402793984

Re: sumaknaes♥♡♥

Re: hg: lu han dies (team cccm)

Re: hg: ♡백첸호♡

Re: https://twitter.com/wotadz1/status/361989097402793984

Re: hg: lu han dies (team cccm)

Re: hg: dark after dawn (team yixing ): )

Re: hg: dark after dawn (team yixing ): )

Re: hg: ♡백첸호♡

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Re: http://onew.tumblr.com/post/56802170648

Re: hg: dark after dawn (team yixing ): )

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Re: hg: lu han dies (team cccm)

open arms cover (team doppar)

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Re: hg: lu han dies (team cccm)