but i'm so fucking tired of being like this? i do everything right, i have good grades, successful everything else, exercise and shit and exfoliate and take my meds on time almost every day but this shit just doesn't go away and if anything it keeps getting worse. i end up constantly upset with my family but then when i do something dumb as fuck and live through it and feel like absolute shit the next day (because lol trying to kill yourself is apparently exhausting) and fuck everything up they just get upset at me and i can never tell them why it's fucked up and then it gets even worse and i feel like even more of a failure
i don't have a therapist right now but even if i did i don't think i could have told her any of this because she seemed so genuinely pleased that i was "doing so well" but i guess i'm not
no subject
but i'm so fucking tired of being like this? i do everything right, i have good grades, successful everything else, exercise and shit and exfoliate and take my meds on time almost every day but this shit just doesn't go away and if anything it keeps getting worse. i end up constantly upset with my family but then when i do something dumb as fuck and live through it and feel like absolute shit the next day (because lol trying to kill yourself is apparently exhausting) and fuck everything up they just get upset at me and i can never tell them why it's fucked up and then it gets even worse and i feel like even more of a failure
i don't have a therapist right now but even if i did i don't think i could have told her any of this because she seemed so genuinely pleased that i was "doing so well" but i guess i'm not