exomeme | part two hundred and fourteen

oohh my goddd lmao

☺

GIMME ALL THE GIRL ONES

2jong / off limits / optional setting: political au
+ erotica!

"You've gotta be quiet," Jongdae cautions when Jongin lets out a particularly loud moan around the tie currently stuffed in his mouth. "I'm going to lose my job if I get caught."

Jongin lies back on the desk, a dark flush creeping up his throat. His shirt's unbuttoned at the collar and Jongdae can see his Adam's apple jump when he swallows.

"That's the best part, though," he says, pulling at the lapels of Jongdae's jacket to yank him close and crush their lips together. Jongdae laughs, relaxes into the kiss even though alarm bells are going off in his head, telling him he needs to stop—back up—leave the room, take a walk and cool off.

He's really not supposed to be here. His shift ended hours ago and bodyguards aren't even supposed to be on the premises when they're not on duty. And when he is—Jongin's supposed to be his charge, he's supposed to be protecting him.

Not that he doesn't want to protect him, but he's pretty sure this doesn't fall under the job description for the president's security detail. He stands back long enough to pull his gun out of the holster and set it out of reach on the desk, then slips out of his jacket.

"I'm—shit, Jongin, this is so stupid, we. Are going to. Get. Caught," Jongdae pants, draping his body over Jongin's. The angle is awkward and his shoulders ache but he's so fucking hard and Jongin's mouth is so warm, abandoning Jongdae's mouth to head south, teeth scraping against the jut of his chin, then his jaw, his throat. Jongdae groans loudly, air hissing through his teeth. The way Jongin rolls his hips slowly into Jongdae's, grinding, undulating, has Jongdae thinking he might just come in his pants like this, and he hasn't done that since he was a teenager.

69'ing is extremely difficult as a mermaid. so is bukkake. seyeol attempted anyways

pls dont judge me

yeah trying to search through sncj is such a mess. it's a lot easier to follow rec blogs on tumblr

write the walking dead au

do anons have some harry/hermione recs

sry i didn't collapse /o\

tried 69-ing cannibals. it ended up kind of... abstract......

also tried drawing pretty femlu ended up with what looks like twinklu in a bra i give up i'm not meant for erotica

cries team b overreacting but since there's no point saving these anyway /o\

seyeol mermen sex
580 words

sehun and chanyeol embraced and twined their scaly tails with each other. they had tails because they were mermen, beautiful mermen who looked like they were half the rainbow fish and half twink models.

sehun's tail was not nearly as long as chanyeol's, because he had wide shoulders tapering off into a slim waist and a disproportionately short tail. he still turned many heads underwater and was the cause of many late night ovipositor deposits of the kingdom's mermaids, though.

chanyeol was long and spindly all around, with a longer tail than torso. together, it was difficult for them to rub their scaly merman penises up on each other and kiss at the same time. ah, but such are the woes of the misproportioned, mismatched mermen.

"what are we going to do, sehunnie? i want to kiss you with my face and put it on your face, but i also want my penis to kiss your penis at the same time. woe betide us and our tragic merlove!" chanyeol felt upset enough to swoon into a fainting couch, except he was a merman who swam in the ocean which drastically affected his ability to flop in a dramatic fashion onto any surface.

sehun swam over to where chanyeol had drifted off in his attempted theatrics, tiny bits of plankton and sea debris passing through his elegant blond middle part. it was ever so hard to dye hair underwater, but appearances were very important for princes of the deep like him, even if his merfriend jongin jestingly called him a himbo from time to time.

“chanyeol,” the beautiful blond merman said. “you’ve taken care of me so well, even though you are so far away from your merfamily in a merkingdom far away. you too are merroyalty and understand the intricacies of mercourt and the many demands upon merprinces such as you and me…”

(cut for 3000 words of political intrigue that’s way less interesting than merporn)

“...and that’s why the only solution to our problem is to do it slipper sixty-nine style. come here and put your huge scaly dick in my face.”

and that is exactly what chanyeol did. he gracefully placed his body alongside sehun’s body, but upside down twisty ways, and because he was so kind and skillful a lover he grabbed two nearby starfish that were minding their own business and stuck them on sehun’s nipples. sehun gasped at the attention and the feeling of the tiny starfish affixing their whatever starfish have on their undersides onto his nipples, and while his mouth was open chanyeol took the opportunity to fill his mouth with a gorgeous and thick gold penis. it shone in the rays of sunlight that reached the mercouple and sehun gasped.

sehun barely had time to relish the fullness of chanyeol’s scaly gold penis in his mouth when he felt chanyeol’s mouth descend on his own beautiful purple penis like a whale in search of a stomachload of plankton. it still had a pink head though.

they writhed around like two dead fish on land for a long time, except they were actually mermen with scaly rainbow colored cocks and were only dying but a little death. eventually they came in each other’s mouths at the same moment, because they were also soulbonded together and were truly mfeo.

chanyeol and sehun saved the gillfucking for another day and blew cloudy jizz loads all over the kingdom. they lived happily ever after. the end.

lmao gj anon

wow this is good 👀

word count 535 sudopphun shower sex

joonmyun and kyungsoo sat on the bench, heads hanging. they were the only ones left in the locker room, except for sehun who was still in the shower, trying to mask his hiccups with the sound of water flowing from the showerhead.

"he took it really hard, huh?" joonmyun said, sighing. kyungsoo could only nod. they had given their all but it hadn't been enough to win the match. sehun had taken their defeat the hardest, being the youngest player on the team. he had been a true example of team spirit and loyality but kyungsoo and joonmyun could see that he had been barely holding backhis tears as they marched off the field.

sehun had jumped straight into a shower stall in the far back corner of the shower room and refused to come out until everyone was gone. but his two team mates were worried and had decided to stay. they were still a team and there was comfort in that. kyungsoo stood up suddenly and grabbed joonmyun's hand, dragging the dispirited leader to the shower room.

he stripped out of his soccer uniform and urged joonmyun to do the same. not checking if he listened, he pulled the curtain of sehun's shower stall and barged in. sehun yelled and turned his head to hide his face, not wanting them to see his red cheeks and eyes from crying.

a little later, joonmyun peeked into the shower hesitantly, not boldly coming in like kyungsoo, but as soon as he noticed him, he pulled him in and pushed him at sehun. they caught each other in an awkward embrace. kyungsoo smiled a little and put his arms around both his team mates, squeezing them close together.

then he craned his neck up and planted a kiss square on sehun's lips. the younger's eyes widened and surprise chased the sadness in them away. even more stunned, he then watched kyungsoo and joonmyun turning their faces towards each other as if a silent understanding passed between them and they locked lips in a heavy make-out session. when they parted, they were both smiling, eyes twinkling as joonmyun seemed to ask kyungsoo a silent question and received a nod in return.

he then stepped behind kyungsoo and, with his arms around his waist, pushed him right into sehun. the movements of his hips, grinding against kyungsoo's backside pushed him rythmically against sehun's front. the youngest tried to squirm away, growing bright red in the face and hard between his legs. placing one more kiss on sehun's mouth, kyugsoo then bent over, holding onto sehun's wet hips and took him into his mouth. behind him, joonmyun was working him open, two fingers up his ass. he twisted them and kyungsoo moaned fully around sehun which in turn made sehun groan and begin to trust into kyungsoo's mouth.

soon they were three gyrating bodies, sehun leaning against the wet tiles, panting hard, his sound smixing with joonmyun's grunts as he canted his hips, both of them joined by kyungsoo in their middle, completing the unity of their team and their joined noises with his moans. forever a team. they sealed the deal in their hearts as their pleasure peaked.

i'm too lazy but imagine that chen is a sex god and chanyeol's mind is blown even if he is mad he had to bottom

Jongdae drums his fingers on his knees, shifting closer to Joonmyun who was dozing lightly. He glances at the older man, still in his suit and tie, and he smiles softly, pulling Joonmyun’s head down to rest on his shoulder.

“Mmf Jongdae?” the older asks sleepily.

“Just sleep hyung. I’ll wake us up when we get to Shinagawa,” Jongdae murmurs. He pats the other man’s hand lightly. The train ride from Haneda airport to Shinagawa doesn’t take very long, Jongdae knows this even though it’s been a while since he came to visit Joonmyun. Work’s been terribly busy and they’ve just finished a large project for Samsung (Samsung, could you believe it. Their Beagle Advertising Agency was going places). He hums softly to himself as Joonmyun snores softly, drooling a little into Jongdae’s sweater.

He’s happy even to be together just like this. He really is.

Even though he’s happy with just being beside Joonmyun, that doesn’t stop Jongdae from enjoying the way Joonmyun pushes him up against the closed door of his apartment, kissing Jongdae hungrily.

“Hyung~ I haven’t brushed my teeth,” whined Jongdae, trying to pull away from the older but Joonmyun had merely growled a little, which sent all his blood straight to his dick. God fucking damn it, Joonmyun.

forced feminization and chinaline *___* the fic of my dreams omg i hope you continue this anon!

joonmyun holds grudges. they all know this, from the way certain trainees would take the long way around the company building if they even caught a whiff of him and his twitchy face in the distance. "he wasn't a bully," sehun tells him, "at least not anymore than some of you." he glances at baekhyun like it's his fault chanyeol's ears are too big for his head, that zitao's words are still in the stumbling stages, just ripe for the pickings. baekhyun takes his opportunities, makes the best of them. sees a talent scout in the distance and belts out a ballad within earshot. shoves jino down into the basement and kicks the door shut.

that's life.

"sehun was crying," joonmyun hisses, his eyes dark and his grip tight on baekhyun's wrists over his head. baekhyun finally kinda understands why kris ran into that ocean in the middle of winter now, for reasons other than a script and the unyielding urge to get the fuck away from them and flee the country as usual. "you kicked the ball into his face."

"it was an accident?" baekhyun insists, although if he's honest, it was just barely. he'd been aiming for kyungsoo's head instead, given how it was sticking up from his narrow shoulders and practically screaming TARGET RIGHT HERE in kyungsoo's lovely voice. how was he supposed to know sehun -- loyal little brat, it's almost tear-inducing really -- would dive right then and there, lanky body stretched out in an ill-fated attempt to protect one of his tiniest hyungs.

two hours later, and here he is. backed up against a dirty bathroom stall, joonmyun hovering over him. not quite the image of gangnam's poster boy baekhyun used to hear about back in their trainee days. less class president, more mob boss. yikes.

joonmyun's free hand reaches down, and baekhyun gulps he hears the sound of a belt coming undone.

he's heard about the hazing, from before the company started focusing more on Public Image and realized that anything that happened in its halls could be used against them in a court of law in the unusually common chances that people's contracts were taken to said court. chanyeol used to regale him and jongdae with tales of how one of the older trainees had made him crossdress and practice with the twelve-year-old female trainees sm had somehow lured into their system. jongin occassionally mentions the time taemin had flushed his face in the toilet and made him clean up the splashed water with a toothbrush.

maybe joonmyun is finally hazing him. maybe he'll make him run around the football field in just his briefs, take a snapshot and send it to taeyeon noona with a HAHAHA caption. it wouldn't be the first time she's seen him like this.

"suck."

suck what, baekhyun almost asks except as soon as he opens his mouth, joonmyun shoves him down to his knees so that he's facing ugly plaid boxers. like really ugly, bargain bin ugly. not exactly what baekhyun ever imagined joonmyun wearing, given his blazers and polos. he looks up as if to comment on it, but joonmyun's fingers squeeze his cheeks, his lips automatically puckering.

"like you're worth ruining silk," joonmyun tells him, rolling his eyes. his clothed dick is edging closer and closer to baekhyun's mouth, and baekhyun swallows preemptively.

"besides, i'm just warming you up. you still owe sehunnie."

thanks for participating anons!

sorry forgot in my haste omg this is an omage to my beautiful team ilu anons

I WANT SO MUCH i hope genderswap is a theme for next round ;;

213 words.

suchen long distance relationship ig. i'm sorry i failed to porn on time.

i'm more sorry about the fact that i can't write porn than i am that i wrote this

part two hundred and fourteen

Re: wc!au : team sehun [c] sudopphun

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wcau - team bbh - 2jong porn - [c] 312 words

wcau: team dage [c] mermen

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Re: wcau - team bbh - 2jong porn - [c] 312 words

dage [c]

wc!au: team sehun [c]

Re: wc!au: team sehun [c]

Re: wc!au: team sehun [c] - sebooty toop

Re: team chan [c]

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Re: team sehun: 198 w

team xiumin [c]

STOP POSTING!!!!!

STOP POSTING!!!!!

team sehun c!!!

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wc!au: team xiumin

569w