Lu han kciks jinos’ head to minseok who passes to jongdae. Jongdae kicks jinos head ito the goalie and socres!! But no xscore that’s not a score oh no ryeowooke who is kyungsoos oppa is disputing the claim because he is the referreee. Referere gets angry and throws up a red card. Jongdae growls angrily and pushes kyungsoos small tiny body. Both are small and tiny so its like watching jelly babies fight. Chanyeol breaks them up shouting “no, jinos head is going beserk if we don’t kick it.”
Jino’s head is a zombie. I don’t know what happened to the rest of his body but his head is a zombie. His head is angry and sad that he didn’t make it into exo but was shelved into a nugu band called SM the boring. Jino rolls around trying to escape the scary area known as the exo zombie field where the eleven members are playing kick ball.
Jongin the goalie kicks the ball towards the center. Lu han intercepts like the soccer star that he is. “I’m passing to you minseoK!” but minseok is brutally shoved at by sehun the hardcore giant titan thing. Giant titan slams the ball with his foot into minseok’s balls and minseok cries out demanding why his testicles why not someone els’se dead testicles. Kyingsoos oppa who is the refereer does not ssay anything because sehun is on kyungsoos team.
Meanwhile, baekhyun runs for the ball, screaming his girlfriends name like hes being fucked with a strap on. Stop talking baekhyun but he can’t because his jaw is always hanging open because he is a reanimated corpse who desperately wants to play soccer with his ten friends. Baekhyun kicks the ball to tao who is too busy examining his appearance in the reflection of his mobile phone. As a zombie, you will not look attractive. I can promise you that. Tao has gory eyes and skin with a green tinge and most of his organs are hanging out of his body but that doesn’t stop him from having a good time as he kicks jino’s head to lu han. Lu han takes the ball and runs towards his goal but in the heat of the moment he forgets which side he is on and kicks into the wrong goal. Yixing throws his left arm at lu han askig him what the fuck man and lu han laughs and says I don’t know man I don’t know I don’t have any fucking brains remember jesus fuck youre so mean to me yixing
And yixing is like jesus fuck who let you on this team and everyone points to tao who is now playing with his heart. Baekhyun runs up to tao and he’d probably be sweating if he was a pig or a human, but he’s dead so he doesn’t sweat. He grabs tao’s heart and pulls on it and laughs and calls jongin over and tells him to pull on tao’s heart so jongin grabs tao’s heart and tao is crying because don’t pull my heart last time someone pulled my heart he got myocraditiso. Jongin laughs and tugs too harshly on tao’s heart and rips it out and throws it around and everyone says, “hey lets use that as a soccer ball.”
But jino disagrees. Jino is still btiter about the last ime he was shelved for some less than superior beig so he rolls around but he can’t roll around because he has no limbs you dumb water boy. Jino is left out in the end and ryeowooke lets exo play with tao’s heart instead. Jino would cry but he’s dead.
Chnayeol the other titan ends up grabbing the heart and throwing it into the enemy goal and ryeowoke doesn’t call foul because chanyeol is on kyungsoo’s team and ryeoowoke has the biggest fucking boner for kyungsoo so kyungsoo’s team are ahead 2-0 by the time they call half time. Do they have half time in soccer? Well, they do now.
When they take their breaks they all demand for their water boy but water boy is decapitated remember you half-wits. Lu han proposes another solution and tells everyone to take off their clothes and eat them instead. Sehun the giant calls lu han an idiot because everyone is already naked. Yes that’s right zombies can play soccer naked if they want to ok.
The other half of the half time never comes around because exo end up having a giant zombie orgy where jongin devours lu han’s nose and lu han devours tao’s eyes and tao devours baekhyun’s entire being because baekhyun is annoying and deserves to be eaten by tao. Tao is a nice kid and ends up sharing his portion by vomiting up what he had and feeding it to his friends. Baekhyun lives on in all of them. Sometimes you can hear the word kkaebsong resonating in their dead muscles.
Re: wc!au: team lu han - aff tier badfic
Jino’s head is a zombie. I don’t know what happened to the rest of his body but his head is a zombie. His head is angry and sad that he didn’t make it into exo but was shelved into a nugu band called SM the boring. Jino rolls around trying to escape the scary area known as the exo zombie field where the eleven members are playing kick ball.
Jongin the goalie kicks the ball towards the center. Lu han intercepts like the soccer star that he is. “I’m passing to you minseoK!” but minseok is brutally shoved at by sehun the hardcore giant titan thing. Giant titan slams the ball with his foot into minseok’s balls and minseok cries out demanding why his testicles why not someone els’se dead testicles. Kyingsoos oppa who is the refereer does not ssay anything because sehun is on kyungsoos team.
Meanwhile, baekhyun runs for the ball, screaming his girlfriends name like hes being fucked with a strap on. Stop talking baekhyun but he can’t because his jaw is always hanging open because he is a reanimated corpse who desperately wants to play soccer with his ten friends. Baekhyun kicks the ball to tao who is too busy examining his appearance in the reflection of his mobile phone. As a zombie, you will not look attractive. I can promise you that. Tao has gory eyes and skin with a green tinge and most of his organs are hanging out of his body but that doesn’t stop him from having a good time as he kicks jino’s head to lu han. Lu han takes the ball and runs towards his goal but in the heat of the moment he forgets which side he is on and kicks into the wrong goal. Yixing throws his left arm at lu han askig him what the fuck man and lu han laughs and says I don’t know man I don’t know I don’t have any fucking brains remember jesus fuck youre so mean to me yixing
And yixing is like jesus fuck who let you on this team and everyone points to tao who is now playing with his heart. Baekhyun runs up to tao and he’d probably be sweating if he was a pig or a human, but he’s dead so he doesn’t sweat. He grabs tao’s heart and pulls on it and laughs and calls jongin over and tells him to pull on tao’s heart so jongin grabs tao’s heart and tao is crying because don’t pull my heart last time someone pulled my heart he got myocraditiso. Jongin laughs and tugs too harshly on tao’s heart and rips it out and throws it around and everyone says, “hey lets use that as a soccer ball.”
But jino disagrees. Jino is still btiter about the last ime he was shelved for some less than superior beig so he rolls around but he can’t roll around because he has no limbs you dumb water boy. Jino is left out in the end and ryeowooke lets exo play with tao’s heart instead. Jino would cry but he’s dead.
Chnayeol the other titan ends up grabbing the heart and throwing it into the enemy goal and ryeowoke doesn’t call foul because chanyeol is on kyungsoo’s team and ryeoowoke has the biggest fucking boner for kyungsoo so kyungsoo’s team are ahead 2-0 by the time they call half time. Do they have half time in soccer? Well, they do now.
When they take their breaks they all demand for their water boy but water boy is decapitated remember you half-wits. Lu han proposes another solution and tells everyone to take off their clothes and eat them instead. Sehun the giant calls lu han an idiot because everyone is already naked. Yes that’s right zombies can play soccer naked if they want to ok.
The other half of the half time never comes around because exo end up having a giant zombie orgy where jongin devours lu han’s nose and lu han devours tao’s eyes and tao devours baekhyun’s entire being because baekhyun is annoying and deserves to be eaten by tao. Tao is a nice kid and ends up sharing his portion by vomiting up what he had and feeding it to his friends. Baekhyun lives on in all of them. Sometimes you can hear the word kkaebsong resonating in their dead muscles.