exomeme | part two hundred and ten

part two hundred and ten

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world cup: exomeme edition

congratulations team doppar & team chenshine!
round one: 07-08 00:00 UTC - 07-10 23:59 UTC

last page | flat view | games | opening ceremony

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colapapse

When Sehun whirred to life, the first thing he did was spit out the Styrofoam in his mouth. He was programmed to enjoy chocolate bubble tea and spicy hot pot. Plus, humans didn’t eat plastic. He stood up, his joints feeling stiff. Looking at the box he came from, he became confused as to why he had been sleeping there but shrugged it off. He needed to look for his lover. Lu Han was the name. He knew his birthday and his blood type, but nothing else – not his favourite colour or his favourite sport.

Despite being naked, Sehun didn’t feel embarrassed. He walked around, hoping he would find Lu Han. He found him in the living room fooling around with another man. “Lu Han,” he called, walking towards them, but when Lu Han and the other man looked at him, their eyes widened. Lu Han flinched and started panicking.

“Who—”

“Oh Sehun at your service,” Sehun replied, kneeling down. “I am your boyfriend. In my past life, I was a poet who composed philosophical sonnets about the brevity of life and the nature of love. I was born into a rich family of five, but have found my own way in this world. I am competent in speed talking and laughing at bad jokes. I notice that you are not interested in my life story. No matter, you are the most important part of my story now. I find you very attractive. Perhaps we should fuck?”

Lu Han screamed, “What?! No! No! No!” He turned towards the other man, screeching, “Kyungsoo! Do something! I don’t want a robot boyfriend!”

“I notice that you are looking at my penis,” Sehun commented, making Lu Han turn a deep red. “I have a self-lubricating penis. There is no need to hurry for the bedside drawer when my penis can do all the work. Would you like a poem about my penis? Oh, my dear penis, my dear penis! How hard you are—”

“Kyungsoo!” Lu Han shouted. “Isn’t there a reset button? Why did you make me kiss him?” Lu Han began to shake Kyungsoo violently. “Help me!”

Kyungsoo grimaced. “You have to tell him to be quiet. He’s programmed to respond to you. Treat him like a human, and—”

“Excuse me, Kyungsoo person, but I am human,” Sehun interrupted, rolling his eyes.

“Sehun, that’s your name, right?” Lu Han asked.

Sehun nodded, happy that his lover was no longer overtly distressed.

“Sehun, can you go back to your box and lie down. I need to talk to Kyungsoo privately.”

Pouting, Sehun agreed, walking away from the room. Lying down in his box, he noticed there was another person in the house.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you before,” greeted the tall man. “I’m Chanyeol.”

“Hi, Chanyeol, I’m Oh Sehun.”

Chanyeol’s eyes widened. “Oh, you’re Oh Sehun. Cool. What model are you?”

“Model?” Sehun asked, confused. “My body is suitable for modelling underwear and uniforms of any sort.”

“No, I mean—”

Chanyeol paused as they both heard Kyungsoo shout out Chanyeol’s name. “I must go,” Chanyeol said. “My master is calling for me.”

Sehun shrugged. When Chanyeol left, Lu Han arrived in front of him. Grinning in excitement, Sehun said, “Lu Han, you’re here!”

“Yes,” Lu Han replied, running a hand through his dyed blond hair. Lu Han was very handsome. “You have to get dressed. Chanyeol is going to give you some of his clothes and then I’m going to take you home, okay?” While they waited for Chanyeol to return from the closet, Lu Han stuck his hand inside the box and began to rummage around.

“What are you looking for? Perhaps I can help find it for you,” Sehun offered, throwing the Styrofoam bits on the floor.

Lu Han shook his head. “Don’t worry.” Lu Han’s face lit up when he retrieved a small card.

It read: Dear Volunteer,
Unfortunately, we have run out of Love Models. Thus, we have given you a Sex Model. It should be identical to the programming you input for the Love Model, only the Sex Model will require charging in the form of sexual communication. We hope you do not mind! We hope Boyfriend Model 35AN makes you happy! Please fill in the survey forms we send weekly via e-mail or risk having your Boyfriend Model taken.
Sincerely,
Super Micro Entertainment.

“What the fuck?!” Lu Han screeched. “Sexual communication?!”

Sehun’s eyes lit up at those words. His lover might be loud and scream and shout a lot, but Sehun liked loud. Before Sehun could dedicate a poem to Lu Han about the benefits of loud sexual communication, Kyungsoo arrived with clothing. He gave them to Lu Han and said, “Hurry up before mum gets home.”

Lu Han whacked Kyungsoo over the head with the clothes before hurriedly passing them to Sehun and ordering him to put them on. Sehun obeyed, slipping on a grunge shirt and black pants. There was no underwear, but it didn’t really matter because the clothes were already really tight. Lu Han threw the card he had been reading at Kyungsoo. “I’ll have my revenge, Do Kyungsoo. You better watch your back because I’m coming for you.”

Kyungsoo laughed, waving him off, before he glanced at the card and began to read.

Lu Han grabbed Sehun’s arm, dragging him to the door. Sehun followed like a trained puppy.

“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Sehun heard Kyungsoo shout when they were at the doorway. Lu Han kept shaking his head and groaning even as they went down the elevator.

what pairing did you decide to go with? heh

most of the votes were for selu so i'll go with them :") and maybe hint hansoo :")

whispers oh into the wind

da whispers dw anon if i can come up with something i'll try to write hansoo ;;

lol i was kinda kidding but at the same time ;;;;;;;; if you need inspiration i'm here for you

i will be sure to ask for your help if i need ideas qtnon! :*

op :3 u could write an au of this au lmao

but i'll write hansoo fic maybe after prelims i just want sehun to get to round 2 so i dont have to worry about him during the first round ;;

ah ic ic ;;;; i'm still not sure if i'm joining but cries i don't want to ruin your au ;;;;

but this is just a typical cliche love robot au ;; there's nothing to ruin ;; esp if it's hansoo ;; hansoo is beautiful ;;

yes pls selu :*

TY ANON LEAPS AT U

omfg i am in love with this au

“Model?” Sehun asked, confused. “My body is suitable for modelling underwear and uniforms of any sort.”
this is gold

also, sexual communication mmmmh

screaming this is so great i was not expecting this lmfao fuck

i'm so ready for part 3

sa ilt sfm i need to lie down

crying at self lubricating penis lmao anon ilu

omg this is amazing

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part two hundred and ten

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)

Re: wc!au: team sehun - bf model 35an (part 2)